Welcome to the world of the Lactose-Free Warrior. A place where livers undergo administrative reform, plants get bottom-soaked back to life, and a silver RAV4 captures 4K chaos across Basra.
A well-rounded individual with extremely specific interests.
Ginny & Georgia, Big Mouth, Blood of Zeus
Three shows, zero regrets. Binge-watching is a sport and I am an Olympic athlete.
Istanbul, Antalya, Mecca
Istanbul for the vibes, Antalya for the tan, Mecca for the soul. My passport has more stamps than my milk carton has dairy.
The Croton Resurrection
Brought a Croton plant back from the dead using the ancient art of bottom-soaking. They said it couldn't be done. I said 'watch me bottom-soak.'
2015 Toyota RAV4 - Silver Edition
When you roam the streets of Basra, you do it in style. A silver 2015 Toyota RAV4 with a 70mai dashcam capturing every pothole, every near-miss, and every confused pedestrian in glorious 4K. This isn't just a car - it's a mobile cinema production unit.
The body is a temple. This one is currently under renovation.
The Dynamic Duo Nobody Asked For
Fighting Inflammatory Bowel Disease and Non-Alcoholic Fatty Liver Disease like a champ. My liver is currently undergoing "administrative reform". Think of it as a government restructuring, but for my digestive system. Results pending.
Status: 🤝 Negotiating a ceasefire
The Sacred Diet Protocol
100% dairy-free. Casein-free. Lactose-free. If it came from a cow, it is not coming near me. This isn't a diet - it's a lifestyle of pure warrior mode. I read ingredient labels like holy scripture. A single drop of milk? Spiritual crisis.
Last dairy encounter: 😤 2019 (still recovering)
🏆 Achievement Unlocked: Survived every family gathering where someone said "just a little bit won't kill you" while holding a glass of milk. Current streak: 2,555 days and counting.